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” Not that I necessarily wanted to find another woman. My girlfriend and I had just broken up a few weeks earlier and I was in no mood of getting involved with anybody else, even a one-night stand. Things had gone quite well with her in the beginning. She seemed to be quite open-minded in the sexual department until the day she found out that I was into water-sports. That was too much for her sensitive religious mind to fathom.Anyway, I had sworn myself that if I ever got involved with another. Main ek haath se uske mumme ko musalne laga. Aur jor jor se dhakke marne laga. Wo jor jor se apna gand uchalne lagi. Wo apne muh se aaahhahah ahhha ki aawaj nikalne lagi. Maine use doggy style me hone ko kaha. Main uski gaand ko pakad kar jor-jor se chodne laga. Wo bol rahi thi-aur andar daalo.Chod do mujhe. Kara do jannat ki sair. Aur jor se aaah aahh ummmm ummm aah. Wo jhadne wali thi. Main use jor se chode ja raha tha. Usne bola-main jhad rahi hun. Aur jor se ummm aaah aaahahh main jhar. Seen on a nun’s gravestone: Returned unopenedAn April Fool Day contribution by mixerman478Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.Defense Attorney: Did you know him?Little Old Lady: No, but. But I see the hesitation and as you start to speak, I shake my head and place my finger against your lips. Then I put the tip of my finger against your lips and push them apart, forcing it into your mouth.You look at me as if to say 'What the fuck?' and start backing away. I stop what I am doing, shrug my shoulders again. “We can continue or I can stop now… it’s your choice. It is always the subs choice. You know what the event safe word is and if you say it, I will stop immediately. So.
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